She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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