i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
