we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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