Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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