Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize