i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
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Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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