i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
