guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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