i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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