when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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