I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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