I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
