the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
