just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
