I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
