Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
