So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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