btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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