i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
