life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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