everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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