He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
