Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
