Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
