I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
