i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
