just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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