so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
