I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
someone owes me an orgasm
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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