I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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