please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize