how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
