I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
