whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
