Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
