we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
