I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
