you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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