I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
