You work out of a Hotel?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
