I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize