Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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