I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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