I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Welp...herpes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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