Got a toothbrush?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
