somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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