So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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