Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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