Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
