maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
