I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
