You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
