3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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