marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
one might say we're banned from that church
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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