We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
