Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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