My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just google imaged poop.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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