its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
