My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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